Lady Gaga songs about gardening

You didn't know there were any, did you? The one I have in mind is about me and my Bismark Palm.

Bismark palm after three days of temps in the low 20s

That's right: Bad Romance.

In preparation for the 3 days of low-20s temps earlier this year, I wrapped the trunk with Christmas lights, and then wrapped a frost blanket around those.

Fire hazard? Probably.

Effective? Yes. Maybe. This time. If it had been freezing rain, I don't know that my efforts would have made a difference, and we WILL having freezing rain again someday (or rain, then freeze, whatever).

The more it grows, the worse it's going to be when a freeze inevitably takes it out.

I'm like those people that buy cute little baby alligators as pets: if it dies you'll be sad (I guess), but if it keeps growing there's going to be trouble (and you'll still be sad, just not today).

I know I can trim off those dead branches, that isn't the point. I'm just debating whether to give up on the dream, pull it out, and find a replacement plant. Sometimes you've just got to rip off the band-aid, right? Ugh. Not ready.


Other plants that didn't do as well as I would have thought:

Agave 'Weberi'

I haven't decided what to do about this yet. If I trim off all the burned bits it will look pretty unsightly...and it will look unsightly (although oddly interesting) if I leave it alone. I think this is another decision I'll put off for another day/week/month.

Agave Weberi 'Purple Heart'

The Plant Delights site said their 'Purple Heart' Weberi is 4 ft x 6 ft and cold hardy to zone 8a? I'm pretty skeptical, since I know their Winters are longer and colder than ours here in Austin. The other one might pull through with some aggressive pruning, so I'll dig it up and see if I can rehab it in a pot.

There were a few other things that died for good (Agave 'Blue Glow', and Octopus agave) but they were expected. I'm bummed, but I had mental back-ups for just such an occurrence.

Is it Spring yet? My fingers are itching to prune and plant!!